October 2, 2007
confessions of a brokenheart(part I – what happened?)
i don't know where and how this should start...all i know is i'm broken...ahehe…uhm nweiz...
here nalang "is it bad to be too good?"kase sabi nia sakin "i still love you but you're too good for me…sorry i can’t reach you”hai…un it really hurt me a lot…we’ve been through for almost one year and five months…kahit ung five months hindi officially kami m.u. lng na pakiramdaman…ahehe…hai…taz un ewan ko kung anu nangyari samin samantalang dati sabi nia “you know what angel you’re the complete package for me…I cannot find and I will never find another you…mawala na sila lahat wag lang ikaw…hindi ako magsasawa sau…masaya ako sobra sa bestfriend ko, sa angel ko…sa tagal tagal nating magkakilala di ko alam ikaw lang pala kung san san pako tumitingin.”
Ø i was afraid and worried na maulit ung first na nahospitalized siya when he was already at Qatar….he’s heartbeat paused for a minute…xmpre as his best and girl i was really worried that time …i thought he was already sleeping that time coz he didn’t replied na, and it was really late here it’s already 2:30am because the time gap are five hours and i know there is a nurse beside him so i stayed calm and i sleep nadin pinilit ko lng matulog coz i have still class and exam on the next day…and flood messages came in that morning, it was delayed pala…he’s mad at me sayin “asan kb?mamatay nako dito kanina pa kita tinatawag d kita mahagilap…sinisigaw ko pangalan mo instead of calling the doctors and nurses…you are the one i’m calling…sumusuka nq ng dugo napunta nq s ER takot ako na iwan ka nalang ng ganon lang ayoko iwan taong mahal ko”so yun I cried early in the morning thinking of that…dba katakot un?hai…un nagrereview ako inaalagaan qxa…kahit sa text lang I cant be there kse juz to let him know and feel how much I love and care for him…sinusubuan, pinapainom ng gamot..hilot ulo…hai
“bei san knpo?alala npo q sau…”
tagal nia reply d sobrang alala nko at baka nsa ospital nnman…txt xa mga quarter to two
“bei sorry po dito nko bhay nakatulog nako sa pagod…”
un ewan antok inis nako nun dko kase alam yyri kanya sabi ko
“anu b nman bei mamatay nako sa pagaalala q sau d aq makatulog...”
taz un d nxa reply…taz nagtxt ako sabi ko
”bei sana po pagusapan natin lahat ng maaus kung may prob tau…kase po ayoko po sana maulit ung sa past natin…takot npo ako…saka mahal npo talaga kita…gusto kopo sana maibalik natin ung dating tau…sobrang dami npo natin prob sana maaus natin before our monthsary and my birthday…”
dxa ngtetext talaga…dumaan na umaga at tanghali…dxa txt sbi q
”bei bka gusto mu nman po q itxt knina kp ndi txt eh antibay mu”
taz un nagreply xa glit sbi nia
”gusto ko na makipagbreak wag mu n tanungin kung bakit mahal kita pero wag mu naman abusuhin…namamanhid nq sau…mahal kita…”
so un tntxt ko siya kung bakit…sana wag naman nia ko biglain…masakit eh…taz un dxa nagrereply talaga pinatay p nia fone nia…una pumasok sa isip q ung sinabi nia dati na
“angel pag nalaman qpo na meun aq malalang sakit hihiwalayan po kita ayoko po kase masaktan ka ng sobra”
”bei lagi mu po tatandaan na kahit anu yri mahal na mahal kita ikaw lang talaga d2…im really sorry for everythin ive done…thank u for makin my life complete…thank u for putting my smile back n makin me feel how happy n lovely life w u…thank u for makin me feel how to love and to be love…I juz cant explain life with u…uhm…ill always be here no matter what…as your angel, bestfriend or even your girl…ill still be here waitin for u…thank u sorry n I miss u I love u so much…sna mgkbti n tau at maaus npo ntin lhat…kung alam mu lang po bei q angel q mahal q…you’re still my eveythin…you’ll always be my babyangel”
“di ako galit sau..i juz want some space..sobrang busy na kase ng sked ko d ko alam kung my time pq pra s gf”
un pinigilan ko luha ko kahit tulong tulo nxa nun s car kunwari tulog ako taz meju mlubak nilalaksan ko untog ng ulo ko baka sakaling matauhan ako na ayaw nia na skin peo wala pdn…wala pla q load nun kase sabi q last txt n nung gabi di q nxa ittxt mgppmis b…ahehe…kaso dq natiis nagppasaload ako kay dadi sbi q”sige po hihintayin padin kita I loveyou babyangel q”un d nxa nagreply…dumeretso pla kmi tagaytay nun sa “tierra de maria” ganda sobra dun sobrang solemn makikita mo ung mga tao sobrang hopeful na matutupad ung wish nila xmpre isa aq dun…ahehe…then after that sa “our lady of Lourdes church” nman…ganda din dun…un xmpre wish pdn ako…then sa “pink sister”nman ahehe…I love it lahat sila nkapink hahaha…nagwish dn aq…taz nagMOA kmi peo sad pdn aq naalala q kase xa eh…hai dib a obvious na miss na miss ko nxa nun plang what more ngaun…un taz april 10 nagaway parents q basta nandun sa entry q nung april 11 check it out if you’re interested…taz birthday q april 12 first time magkaaway ng parents ko dadaanan pa ung birthday q…ansaya dba?nagtxt nman xa
happy birthday…reply aq
“thank u bei sana nga po happy…dpo q happy alam mu un”taz sbi nia
“bei tumigil ayoko ganyan ka”taz sbi q
“anu b talaga yri?”
taz un ayaw nia pagusapan sbi nia
“pra stin dalawa nman desisyon q”sbi q
”bt gnun kung pra stin…bat aq mlungkot bat aq umiiyak bat aq nahihirapan?”sabi nia
“ganyan kb talaga kselfish?bestfriend pdn nman tau eh kylngan b tau?”
peo d ba nia naisip na un nga ung pinakmasakit na magkaibigan nlng ulit kmi na ndi q nman alam totoong dahilan…taz un d n ulit xa ngtxt…wla na…
….to be continued….
here nalang "is it bad to be too good?"kase sabi nia sakin "i still love you but you're too good for me…sorry i can’t reach you”hai…un it really hurt me a lot…we’ve been through for almost one year and five months…kahit ung five months hindi officially kami m.u. lng na pakiramdaman…ahehe…hai…taz un ewan ko kung anu nangyari samin samantalang dati sabi nia “you know what angel you’re the complete package for me…I cannot find and I will never find another you…mawala na sila lahat wag lang ikaw…hindi ako magsasawa sau…masaya ako sobra sa bestfriend ko, sa angel ko…sa tagal tagal nating magkakilala di ko alam ikaw lang pala kung san san pako tumitingin.”
hai alam niu ba miss na miss ko na siya…he’s with his ex na…he told me”mahal pdn naman kita hanggang ngaun eh kaso masaya aq sakanya ngaun eh…pero d kita niloko d kita ginamit minahal kita ung buong ikaw kaso ewan ko bigla ako nanlamig sayo…dko alam kung ano nangyari…ambilis ng mga pangyayari basta kami na ulit ewan”
that was after two months of our unknown reason breakup…and worst hindi ko nga alam dahilan ng breakup namin kase d nia ko kinakausap nun,,,and ten days before our 13th month and my birthday,,,ang ganda ng birthday gift nia skin nuh..hai..ansakit-sakit kase sabi nia skin the night before that“mahal na mahal po kita bei ko ikaw lang lahat ko dito ka lang po lagi ikaw lang sigaw ng puso’t isip ko…mahal na mahal kita…wag ka alala basta importante mahal kita mahal mo ko masaya tau un ung mahalaga..kuntento nko sau lahat sau sobra sobra kp skin…mahal na mahal kita…”
a week before april 2, 2007 (my worst nightmare)he was sick and hospitalized…i was really worried at him and i was not there to take good care of him…
Ø i was afraid and worried na maulit ung first na nahospitalized siya when he was already at Qatar….he’s heartbeat paused for a minute…xmpre as his best and girl i was really worried that time …i thought he was already sleeping that time coz he didn’t replied na, and it was really late here it’s already 2:30am because the time gap are five hours and i know there is a nurse beside him so i stayed calm and i sleep nadin pinilit ko lng matulog coz i have still class and exam on the next day…and flood messages came in that morning, it was delayed pala…he’s mad at me sayin “asan kb?mamatay nako dito kanina pa kita tinatawag d kita mahagilap…sinisigaw ko pangalan mo instead of calling the doctors and nurses…you are the one i’m calling…sumusuka nq ng dugo napunta nq s ER takot ako na iwan ka nalang ng ganon lang ayoko iwan taong mahal ko”so yun I cried early in the morning thinking of that…dba katakot un?hai…un nagrereview ako inaalagaan qxa…kahit sa text lang I cant be there kse juz to let him know and feel how much I love and care for him…sinusubuan, pinapainom ng gamot..hilot ulo…hai
un nga as i was sayin…takot nako mangyari ulit un and i’m not there naging sakitin siya dun eh stress sa work…kaya un kinukulit ko siya pag di siya reply…kase ayoko na nga magalit pa siya sakin saka malay ko ba kung delayed…lagi pati siya inaatake ng migraine nia…so un po…siya lang naman inaalala ko eh…taz nagtxt siya sakin nun OT dw siya tinanong ko kung kaya nia kagagaling lang kase nia sa ospital nun…oo dw so ako sige payag…sabi ko wait ko siya txt nia ko pag uwi na siya…intay ako, eh magoone na nun mageeight pm ndun dp txt…tinext q
“bei san knpo?alala npo q sau…”
tagal nia reply d sobrang alala nko at baka nsa ospital nnman…txt xa mga quarter to two
“bei sorry po dito nko bhay nakatulog nako sa pagod…”
un ewan antok inis nako nun dko kase alam yyri kanya sabi ko
“anu b nman bei mamatay nako sa pagaalala q sau d aq makatulog...”
taz un d nxa reply…taz nagtxt ako sabi ko
”bei sana po pagusapan natin lahat ng maaus kung may prob tau…kase po ayoko po sana maulit ung sa past natin…takot npo ako…saka mahal npo talaga kita…gusto kopo sana maibalik natin ung dating tau…sobrang dami npo natin prob sana maaus natin before our monthsary and my birthday…”
dxa ngtetext talaga…dumaan na umaga at tanghali…dxa txt sbi q
”bei bka gusto mu nman po q itxt knina kp ndi txt eh antibay mu”
taz un nagreply xa glit sbi nia
”gusto ko na makipagbreak wag mu n tanungin kung bakit mahal kita pero wag mu naman abusuhin…namamanhid nq sau…mahal kita…”
so un tntxt ko siya kung bakit…sana wag naman nia ko biglain…masakit eh…taz un dxa nagrereply talaga pinatay p nia fone nia…una pumasok sa isip q ung sinabi nia dati na
“angel pag nalaman qpo na meun aq malalang sakit hihiwalayan po kita ayoko po kase masaktan ka ng sobra”
un natakot aq…taz un d ko na alam nangyari sobrang blanko nako nun…nasusugatan na pala ako di ko pa alam mabubunggo na pala ako di ko pa alam…taz holy week kase nun…un nagswimming kami ai sila lang pala…sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko…nilalagnat ako pero nakaswimsuit nako sa loob para hubad nlng pg um ok ung pakiramdam ko…aba feel na feel ko 2pc q nun ahehe…pero di padin aq nakapagswimming ansakit ng ulo ko wala tulog kakaisip…ahehe…taz sabi ni momi halika bili tau noodles mu…edi ako tango lang ako…taz si momi na nagdala nung noodles edi nauna nxa un nadulas ako napaupo ako wapoise ahehe…pero buti nlang di tumama ulo ko*sayang may amnesia na sana ako…*wah loko lang…hai…taz un paguwi nmin zero energy pdn ako…xa pdin nasa isip ko…isip ko kung naalala ba nia ko or what kase dati kahit nung magbestfriend palang kami nararamdaman nia kung may nangyayari sakin di maganda…alam nia pag malungkot, masaya, nasasaktan ako basta lahat kahit di ako magsalita…connected kase hearts and brains namin eh…hahaha…un taz pagtingin ko sa fone ko wala message…antibay nia…kinain nxa ng pride nia…hai…tnxt qxa nung gabi sabi q
”bei lagi mu po tatandaan na kahit anu yri mahal na mahal kita ikaw lang talaga d2…im really sorry for everythin ive done…thank u for makin my life complete…thank u for putting my smile back n makin me feel how happy n lovely life w u…thank u for makin me feel how to love and to be love…I juz cant explain life with u…uhm…ill always be here no matter what…as your angel, bestfriend or even your girl…ill still be here waitin for u…thank u sorry n I miss u I love u so much…sna mgkbti n tau at maaus npo ntin lhat…kung alam mu lang po bei q angel q mahal q…you’re still my eveythin…you’ll always be my babyangel”
un nagreply xa nung umaga pauwi n kmi ng manila sabi nia:
“di ako galit sau..i juz want some space..sobrang busy na kase ng sked ko d ko alam kung my time pq pra s gf”
un pinigilan ko luha ko kahit tulong tulo nxa nun s car kunwari tulog ako taz meju mlubak nilalaksan ko untog ng ulo ko baka sakaling matauhan ako na ayaw nia na skin peo wala pdn…wala pla q load nun kase sabi q last txt n nung gabi di q nxa ittxt mgppmis b…ahehe…kaso dq natiis nagppasaload ako kay dadi sbi q”sige po hihintayin padin kita I loveyou babyangel q”un d nxa nagreply…dumeretso pla kmi tagaytay nun sa “tierra de maria” ganda sobra dun sobrang solemn makikita mo ung mga tao sobrang hopeful na matutupad ung wish nila xmpre isa aq dun…ahehe…then after that sa “our lady of Lourdes church” nman…ganda din dun…un xmpre wish pdn ako…then sa “pink sister”nman ahehe…I love it lahat sila nkapink hahaha…nagwish dn aq…taz nagMOA kmi peo sad pdn aq naalala q kase xa eh…hai dib a obvious na miss na miss ko nxa nun plang what more ngaun…un taz april 10 nagaway parents q basta nandun sa entry q nung april 11 check it out if you’re interested…taz birthday q april 12 first time magkaaway ng parents ko dadaanan pa ung birthday q…ansaya dba?nagtxt nman xa
happy birthday…reply aq
“thank u bei sana nga po happy…dpo q happy alam mu un”taz sbi nia
“bei tumigil ayoko ganyan ka”taz sbi q
“anu b talaga yri?”
taz un ayaw nia pagusapan sbi nia
“pra stin dalawa nman desisyon q”sbi q
”bt gnun kung pra stin…bat aq mlungkot bat aq umiiyak bat aq nahihirapan?”sabi nia
“ganyan kb talaga kselfish?bestfriend pdn nman tau eh kylngan b tau?”
peo d ba nia naisip na un nga ung pinakmasakit na magkaibigan nlng ulit kmi na ndi q nman alam totoong dahilan…taz un d n ulit xa ngtxt…wla na…
….to be continued….
Posted by uhreeelicious on October 2, 2007 at 03:18 PM | 2 pikaboo!:D