Entries for May, 2012

First love never dies, but to some the first cut is the deepest. In which apothegm are you?

First love is the first person who puts a beat to your heart. Someone like when you’re with this person, heaven is just a glimpse away. Someone who makes you feel like head over heels in love; but when you’re hurt because of your first love it could be the deepest, painful, and the most anguished feeling you could ever curse.

My first love is my bestfriend.  He lifted me up whenever I’m down and weary. He’s always at my side through ups and downs. He always makes me special. He made me feel that I’m worth loving. He even put me on a pedestal. He appreciates every piece of my work. He always tells me that I’m beautiful even I’m having a bad hair day. He always says that I’m sexy despite of my flab. He accepted the whole me. He is my rooster who crows a wakeup call for school. He is my spoon when I don’t want to eat. He is my camera that always takes snaps every single moment of my life. He is my radio who sings with me even I’m out of tune, but the song still carries us. He is my feet when I couldn’t stand up and walk. He is my handkerchief, nah not just a handkerchief but a comforter who always dries up my tears. He is my diary who knows every single minute occurs in my everyday life; but this diary is different for he reacts with me and gives me heartwarming advices.  He never left me with every struggle I’ve gone through; he even stood by my side even if I’m wrong, not  to spoil me but to  spell out my fault. And most of all, he saved me when I was drowned in my own valley of tears. That’s why I called him “My Angel”. On the other way around, I was “His Angel” too for I did the same way he treated me and I also changed him for the best, that was according to him; and I’m secretly falling for him. There was also a time that we already know each other’s emotions without speaking up at all. We know when one of us is sad, overwhelmed, mad, and every emotions that one person can feel. Nothing, we just know. For our minds and hearts are connected? haha. We also know each other’s deepest darkest secrets. Oops, wait; it’s not yet “us” that time. When he told me that he loved me before and loving me more and more every single day, and I also told him that I feel the same way, so we end up being together, officially. He made me feel like I’m the only girl in the whole world. He also reminds me that he’s so lucky to have me and my prettiness is just a bonus points for him.  How lucky am I to have this kind of boy, right?  I sincerely loved this boy with all  my heart.

But that’s also how unlucky I am to have him as my bestfriend and boyfriend because when we part ways,  I don’t just lose my boyfriend, but also my bestfriend. He cut me a deep wound that I came to the point that I even used to curse the word “LOVE”. Because the pain he caused is a cycle of pain, he hurt me not once, not twice but several times. First, when we broke up, he said that we don’t deserve each other because according to him I am too good for a bad boy like him; a year after without any communication at all, he contacted me again for he has a big problem that he’s going to be a father with a girl he doesn’t even know and as stated by him he needed someone to talk to and wanted his bestfriend back, but because he keeps on adding  the pain in my moving on phase I decided to go on my own way; third, after aging months, his sister sent me a message that he had been in a motor accident and died. And the last one is a very sensitive matter that I can’t lay on the line. Rain fell from the stars… AGAIN...Sleepless nights, mind- boggling thoughts, swollen eyes, upset and weeping mourns. I can say that I have had moved on completely after aging years.

There, that’s my first love that brought me back drowning in my own valley of tears. My first love that brought joy and love back yet left me in the unfathomable agony that I even thought I couldn’t find blissfulness. Thanks to God that guide me and brought the happiness back in my life again. To my family and friends who’s always there to cheer me up and love me all the way.

Moving on is not easy. No one also says it’s just an overnight pill. You have to pass through all the phases moving on has. Acceptance has a big part in this phase. And you should allow yourself to mourn for it has a great responsibility in your healing process. I find it hard to move on because I was left hanging with so many questions and still hoping that everything would be fine again; until I got tired and numb of these sick things. I realized I have to be happy in my own way. I don’t want to take advantage of others just to erase him from my system. But despite of the pain he caused me, I still thank him for little by little, I learned how to love myself more; I learned to put myself first above anyone else; I learned how to defend myself. And most of all, I learned how to stand on my own.

Somewhere along the path you’re walking, someone is really intended to barge in who would make you happy yet who will just to put hardships on you, hurt you and even watch you fall; but along that path, someone is honorably designed and fated for your heart. Oh by the way, this happened four years ago, and I haven’t been in a relationship again after him. So, as for me, I’ve been through the both apothegms; my first love made me feel head over heels in love, but he cut  the deepest pain in me and left a scar that always reminds me of to love myself above all and a my true love story is in the making that will sweep off my feet. And God is the author of it.

And I will tell you every detail of it once it’s ready to publish.

How about you? I bet you can never forget about your first love. In which apothegm are you? Would you tell me about it?

Posted by uhreeelicious on May 7, 2012 at 12:03 AM | 2 pikaboo!:D

 

is it vintage?hahaha!nothing just playing with my camera and photosop skills..lol!

 

i'm sorry CAMWHORING again)but i just posted one photo..baka maumay eh)

 

 

Posted by uhreeelicious on May 9, 2012 at 12:07 AM | 14 pikaboo!:D

 

Where have you been?
Cause I never see you out
Are you hiding from me, yeah?
Somewhere in the crowd

Where have you been, all my life?

You can have all you want
Any way, any day
To show me where you are tonight

when i remember my past love it's very inevitable to miss the feeling of being loved and in love. i really don'tknow why am i writing this entry for all i know is i was supposed to be mad at him and even curse his happiness for all the pain he gave me. arrgh it has been almost six years since we broke up but then i admit i still miss him. and this stupid thing in my mind that i still want to talk to him and listen to his explanations why he has done those things, and the fact that the things he had done was super foul, i am still hoping that he would still knock on my door and say his apologies.

 

i know that my "perslab" entry seems to be that i have already moved on, but this stupid part of me is coming back when i remember the love we have had i know life must go on and everything happens for a reason, but....

 

he's always in my dreams, chasing me and kneeling in front of me, maybe that's why i'm like this again

 

aarrrgh!but then, when i was browsing a while ago, i've seen this Prayer of Healing and i really hope this could help me..sigh

 

A Prayer for Healing...Lord, I come before you today in need of your healing hand. In you all things are possible. Hold my heart within yours, and renew my mind, body, and soul. I am sad, but I am singing. You gave us life, and you also give us the gift of infinite joy. Give me the strength to move forward on the path you've laid out for me. Guide me towards better health, and give me the wisdom to identify those you've placed around me to help me get better. In your name I pray, Amen

 

i hate myself when i'm like this, because i know i deserve to be happy

Currently feeling: blah
Posted by uhreeelicious on May 15, 2012 at 04:44 PM | watchathink?

GURU MASTER OF LOVE

-yan ang tawag sakin ng daddy ko, mommy ko, mga kapatid ko at mga kaibigan ko.

- anytime anywhere daw kase kahit tulog or bagong gising, kaya ko daw magbigay ng matino at malamang payo anuman ang sitwasyon.

-isang text, tawag, or message online daw eh lagi akong handang magpayo

pero teka ano ba ang ibig sabihin ng GURU MASTER OF LOVE?

GURU means influential expert: somebody who has a reputation as an expert leader, teacher, or practitioner in a particular field

revered teacher and counselor: a person's revered guide, mentor, or adviser in  intellectual or all matters

sa THESAURUS DICTIONARY

specialism, narrowing down, concentration, focusing in, gaining expertise, gaining in-depth knowledge, specialty, knowledge, expert knowledge, special study

MASTER means somebody highly skilled: somebody highly skilled at something

become skilled in something: to become highly skilled in something or acquire a complete understanding of it

sa THESAURUS DICTIONARY

expert, virtuoso, maestro, genius, prodigy, wizard

 LOVE means passionate attraction and desire: a passionate feeling of romantic desire

very strong affection: an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion

sa THESAURUS DICTIONARY

feel affection for, adore, worship, be in love with, be devoted to, care for, find irresistible, be fond of, hold dear, be keen on, fancy

 

ayan ang ibig sabihin salamat sa Encarta Dictionary

pero bakit nga ba napakagaling kong magpayo sakanila?kahit yung mga napakakumplikadong mga bagay napapasimple ko para ipaintindi lang sakanila; pero bakit yung sarili kong problema di ko mapasimple at maipantindi sa sarili ko?

 

siguro nga "you can preach somebody's heart but not your own heart"

 

errr!

Currently listening to: where have you been
Currently feeling: praning:))
Posted by uhreeelicious on May 16, 2012 at 01:44 AM | 2 pikaboo!:D

APRIL BABY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

#oohlala) ♥

 

-all of these kinda true?AHAHAHA!sige na nga di naman ako yung nagsabi eh, basta April baby ako..lol!

Currently listening to: wakin up in vegas
Posted by uhreeelicious on May 16, 2012 at 10:26 AM | 2 pikaboo!:D

A once in a lifetime experience, made me scream my lungs out. The "Ian Somerhalder Penshoppe Tour in Manila" gave me a chance to see one of my ultimate crushes in the whole wide world!As in, it's like a different feeling to see HIM in person, it's like, i wanna faint when I saw those eyes personally it's like "daaaaaaaaaaamn!i wanna die because of too much "kilig"

He's such a adorable,lovely nothing less than PERFECTION!ahaha!sorry,big fan here but i don't praise him but this was a very unforgetable experience.

 

 

And I just can't believe that iI'm in this huge crowd pushing and bugging people  just to see his face.

And this picture from my camera really s*cks but i don't care, important thing is I've seen this International Person that I really adore

 

Another teenage dream come true

 

Thanks Penshoppe for bringing Ian in the Philippines <3

 

 

 

 

Posted by uhreeelicious on May 25, 2012 at 01:17 AM | 2 pikaboo!:D

oops boredom strikes again, so here comes the camwhoreXP

 

but this time, the camwhore is newly hair dyed)and dry hair comes on the way.lol!because i saw a new hair color from the brand i'm using i bought it and let my hair done.i will just do some hair treatments this coming weekend so my hair would be alive and bouncing again:D ((kaARTIhan mode)sorry.lol!

 

 

the hair color is "Deep Ash Golden Blonde"(arti talaga.AHAHAHA!)

 

so how was it? does it fit me?haha!

 

and oh by the way my mom's the one who did it!

 

patayo nalang kaya ako ng salon?lol!

 

 

Currently listening to: cosmic love
Currently feeling: arti mode><
Posted by uhreeelicious on May 31, 2012 at 05:28 PM | 1 pikaboo!:D
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